


The Woman In The Orange Jumpsuit

by Shadow_Side



Series: The Eye And The Aperture [2]
Category: Portal (Video Game), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Crossover, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-31
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-12-31 01:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1025873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Side/pseuds/Shadow_Side
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Citizens of Night Vale are advised to be on the lookout for a woman in an orange jumpsuit…</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Woman In The Orange Jumpsuit

**Author's Note:**

> I had too much fun with _The Supernova Scene_ , so a sequel was inevitable – and doubly-so when I realised I could get Chell into it this time… because, just as you can't have Cecil without Carlos, you can't have GLaDOS without Chell.
> 
> Set after Episode 32 ( _Yellow Helicopters_ ) of _Welcome To Night Vale_ and (obviously) still post- _Portal_ 2 (single and multiplayer), and a direct sequel to my earlier fic, _The Supernova Scene_.
> 
> Many thanks to Davechicken for the beta, for the idea about the portal emitters, and now for the next of these lovely banners too!

Like so many of life's great experiences, it starts with a dream. A dream of a black landscape, twisted by unreality, yet strangely plausible as it stretches out in all directions; ceaseless, dark, _devastating_. To the observer it seems like the world scorched hollow, laid bare, empty and alone.

And then a light; vibrant, blazing, burning from above; a bright, all-encompassing yellow light, which fills the dark landscape with piercing revelation, unrelenting and inescapable.

A sound cuts the hot air… the whir of helicopter blades, rushing overhead.

A gap in the world appears, glittering at its periphery, and through it… a flat, black plateau stands tall and silent.

A red laser beam pierces all of existence…

"… _who's there?_ "

Carlos awakes with a shout, sitting suddenly upright, looking around wildly in an almost frantic search for the source of the words before he realises that they, too, must surely have been part of the dream.

…Wait… _dream_?

"Hey," comes Cecil's voice, as the other man sits up beside him in bed, putting an arm around his waist. "Are you OK?"

"Uh… yeah… I… yeah," Carlos replies. His heart is still racing, the medley of images refusing to fade. "I… had a really weird dream…"

"I get those a lot," Cecil tells him, understandingly. "It wasn't the one where you're standing outside at night and you look up, and the stars spell out the names of people you used to know, was it?"

"No… no… it was…" Carlos puts his head in his hands for a moment, which makes Cecil press in closer, tightening that arm around him.

"What is it?"

"It's not so much the dream," Carlos admits. "It's… that I haven't _had_ one – not once – since I moved to Night Vale more than a year ago."

"You don't dream?" Cecil says, sounding surprised. "But… I thought everyone did?"

"Yeah, they do," Carlos replies. "But not me. Since I got here, there hasn't been a single one. After a few months I even did tests on myself, to try to work out why, but all my brain activity was normal. I just… don't dream. Which begs the question…"

"…Why now?"

"Exactly."

He's still shaking a little, and he's grateful for the way Cecil gently makes him lie back down, pulling him in and putting a hand on the side of his face. "What did you dream?"

Carlos takes a deep breath. Cecil's presence is so soothing and after a moment he says, "It was… odd. There was a black landscape, and a bright yellow light. And then, I saw… a plateau? I think it was a plateau. I could hear a helicopter somewhere, and then… a red laser beam. Just like one of the turrets we encountered down in Aperture."

It's been nearly a month, but he hasn't stopped feeling sort of guilty whenever he looks up at the moon. Even if it is – inexplicably – still there.

"I see," Cecil answers. "What do you think it meant?"

"I don't know, Cecil. It… it was just a dream. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"Carlos… this is Night Vale. And you haven't dreamt once in over a year. Of course it means something."

The man has a point. Carlos sighs, softly. "I know," he admits. Part of him doesn't want it to mean anything. Doesn't want this to be anything… weird. But – as Cecil pointed out to him a couple of weeks back, when he came to after the incident with the coffee machine – there's a reason he moved here.

There's a reason he stayed, too, but it's a different reason. And easier to remember, when he's got the man snuggled up close to him.

"…I'll worry about it in the morning," he says, finally.

Cecil smiles. "OK. In the meantime, let me help you get back to sleep…"

***

When Cecil awakes, there's sunlight glowing behind the curtains, and Carlos is still asleep across his chest, breathing softly. Beautifully. Cecil lies and listens to him for a few moments, smiling to himself, wondering – not for the first time – how he got so lucky.

He's at Carlos' place again. They end up either here or at his apartment almost every night now, and it really is wonderful. He has his boyfriend, and his fantastic job, and life simply has never been better.

"…Hey," Carlos says, finally lifting his head, blinking his eyes open.

"Hey. Sleep better?"

Carlos blushes a little. "Yeah."

Cecil grins. "I'm glad."

He knows he probably ought to ask about the dream again, but decides to wait at least a few minutes. It's still pretty early, so he doesn't have to rush off for a while. And that also means…

He looks hopeful. Carlos clearly catches the expression, because he headtilts towards the door. "Breakfast?" he offers.

Cecil grins more. "I thought you'd never ask."

***

A little while later, they're both sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying something Carlos refers to as a Bacon Surprise (guess what the surprise is?) and drinking hot mugs of coffee. Cecil flicks through the news on his phone – mornings have never been quite the same since the Journal stopped doing a print edition – whilst Carlos is busy leafing through a now well-thumbed paperback version of _'A History of Aperture Science,'_ which he'd ordered from Amazon after the lending period had run out on the library copy.

"Anything?" Cecil asks him, putting his phone down and looking across at his boyfriend with a flicker of concern.

Carlos shakes his head. "No. Those guys were doing all sorts of bizarre research, but nothing on dreams. Whatever I saw… I don't think Aperture caused it."

"Maybe you're just… acclimatising to the town at last," Cecil suggests.

"Maybe," Carlos concedes. "But… I don't know… something about it just seems…"

"Significant?"

"Yeah. And… like I've seen it before. Just not in a dream." He shakes his head, a wry expression crossing his face. "Maybe you should ask the lovely people from Strex Corp."

It's been two weeks since _they_ moved into Night Vale – since they took over the radio station – and so far… nothing particularly untoward has happened. This alone worries Cecil more than a little, though he tries not to mention it.

"…That's a joke, right?" he asks, raising his eyebrows.

"Absolutely," Carlos reassures him. "I don't think I even _want_ to know what they might say."

"Me neither."

Just as he's about to change the subject back to something safer, there's a knock at the front door. Carlos glances over at it.

"Expecting anyone?" Cecil asks.

"No," Carlos replies. "Hold on…"

He goes through into the hallway, and Cecil hears the door open. There's a few seconds of conversation, and then the door closes again – and Carlos comes back through, carrying a brown envelope.

"Who was it?" Cecil asks, intrigued. "One of the other scientists?"

Carlos shakes his head. Now he's closer, Cecil can see the renewed flicker of worry in his boyfriend's eyes. "No. Two guys in leather balaclavas and waist-length cloaks."

This gets him a slightly shocked look in return. "Secret Police?" Cecil says.

"Yeah. They gave me this," Carlos waves the envelope. "It's for you."

Cecil doesn't question how the Secret Police know he's here and not at his own apartment, because they're the _Secret Police_ and it's their _job_. He takes the envelope – which is inscribed with his name in elegant calligraphy, and marked with two emblems: the Strex Corp logo (which makes his blood a little cold) and the seal of the Mayor. Trust the Mayor's office to circumvent the ban on writing utensils… or to come up with a very effective alternative, of course.

"Go on," Carlos urges, "open it."

So Cecil does. Inside is a single sheet of heavy paper, marked with the two emblems again and written in more of that elegant calligraphy; the ink – or what passes for ink – green and sweeping.

_'The following announcement is to be included during today's radio broadcast,'_ it declares. _'Citizens of Night Vale are asked to be on the lookout for a woman in an orange jumpsuit. The woman, whose identity is being kept secret at this time at the request of the City Council, is believed to have arrived in town yesterday, and is wanted for questioning about a number of classified incidents. All citizens are advised to be alert, as the woman's true intentions are not clear, and instructed to report any and all sightings to the Sheriff's Secret Police as soon as possible.'_

And at the bottom, it adds, _'By the personal order of Mayor Pamela Winchell.'_

Cecil stares at the words in surprise – both at their content, and the fact that the message was delivered to him here, and not simply sent straight to the radio station. He shows Carlos, who seems similarly taken aback, staring at the letter for a long moment in confusion, or… perhaps deep thought.

"You know what's weird?" he says, finally. "I mean, weirder than this already is? The test subjects at Aperture used to wear orange jumpsuits. So for this to happen, right after I had that dream…"

Cecil can't help feeling that maybe Carlos is clutching at straws a little, but he nods nonetheless. "You think it's connected?"

"I think it warrants further investigation," Carlos answers. "I'll look into it whilst you're out at work. Let me know if you hear anything?"

"I will," Cecil promises.

***

The day passes more or less uneventfully. Cecil does his usual broadcast, including the message from the Mayor's office. The station gets more than a few calls about it, which he dutifully relays to the Secret Police – and to Carlos, of course – but nothing that sheds much light on the situation.

And then, the second he goes to the weather, his phone starts to vibrate. He pulls it out, seeing that it's Carlos calling, and clicks it on.

"Hey," he says.

"Hey," Carlos replies. He sounds… tense. "Uh… look. I don't mean to worry you or anything, but… you'll be done soon, right?"

His tone is _very_ worrying, and Cecil finds himself gripping the phone a little tighter. "Sure," he says, carefully. "Are you OK?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, but… well… just come over as soon as you can? Really. This is… please just come over?"

"I will," Cecil promises, now worrying even more. "You're sure you're all right?"

"Yes. Honestly. I'm fine. I'll… tell you all about it when you get here."

But as he hangs up, Cecil can't shake the sense that all is not right in the slightest…

***

When the broadcast is done for the day, Cecil heads back out as soon as he can, driving over to Carlos' place and hurrying up to knock on the door. His hand has barely made contact when the door swings open and Carlos looks out, his beautiful eyes full of both worry and relief.

"Thank goodness you're here," he says, pulling Cecil inside and holding onto him for a moment.

"What is it?" Cecil asks at once, seeing how shaken his boyfriend is.

"I… look, just… come through to the lab," Carlos urges. "But… no sudden movements."

Intrigued, Cecil follows Carlos through into his primary laboratory. It's a large, wide space, filled with all sorts of things that Cecil can't fathom the use for, but realises are vital to the furtherance of science. Everything looks as normal as it ever does, and he's about to question what's going on… when he sees the flash of movement.

At the far end of the room, pacing slowly around and peering at the various scientific implements, is a woman in an orange jumpsuit. _The_ woman in the orange jumpsuit. She's tall and slender, with dark hair tied up in a ponytail, and an expression of cautious surprise.

"She's _here_?" Cecil whispers, urgently, looking at Carlos. "How long has she been here?"

"Since just before I called you," Carlos whispers back. "I was working and I turned round… and there she was."

"The Secret Police are looking for her!" Cecil can't help pointing out.

"I know," Carlos answers. "I didn't know what else to do. Cecil… that jumpsuit… it has the Aperture logo on the back. I was right. She's one of theirs."

The woman in the orange jumpsuit looks across at them at the word 'Aperture' and turns, starting to walk over in their direction. Carlos backs off a little, evidently concerned, and seemingly trying not to appear too much like he's hiding behind Cecil. Which he sort of is.

But it's terribly endearing, so Cecil doesn't mind.

"Has she said anything?" Cecil asks.

"No," Carlos replies. "Not a word. I tried talking to her, but… nothing. She doesn't look like she's injured or in shock, though. She just… doesn't speak."

_"I do speak,"_ the woman says.

"You do?" says Cecil, brightly, deciding that the best option seems to be friendly contact – at least whilst they work out what's really going on. "Are you all right?"

_"Physically, yes. At least for now,"_ she answers.

"I'm glad," Cecil tells her, honestly enough. "Why are you here?"

She headtilts. _"It's… complicated."_

Before he can ask why, Carlos grabs his arm and turns him a little, staring at him in surprise. "Who are you talking to?" he asks.

This makes Cecil look surprised as well. "To our guest," he says. "Why is that odd?"

"Cecil… I can hear you just fine, but I swear to you, the woman isn't saying a word."

Cecil stares at him. Then he stares at the woman in the orange jumpsuit. "I can hear you, can't I?" he says to her.

_"Yes,"_ she answers, but now he realises that something isn't quite right. He can hear her speaking as if everything was normal… but her lips aren't moving. The words are simply there in his head.

"…OK, that's weird," Cecil remarks, looking back at Carlos. "You can't hear anything she says?"

"Not a word," Carlos replies.

"…Very weird." Cecil looks at the woman. "I might have to repeat things," he tells her, and she nods.

"Well, what did she say?" Carlos now asks.

"She said she's physically all right," Cecil tells him. "And that her being here is complicated."

Carlos raises his eyebrows. "That much I agree with." He looks between the woman and Cecil. "Ask if she has a name?"

The woman raises her eyebrows too. _"Tell your friend I can hear him just fine. And my name… is Chell."_

Cecil smiles. "She says she can hear you fine. And her name is Chell. I'm Cecil," he tells her, "and this is Carlos, my boyfriend. He's a scientist."

_"The lab was something of a giveaway,"_ Chell answers, with a little smile of her own. _"Where am I?"_

"She's asking where she is. You're in Night Vale."

This gets them a confused look. _"Night Vale? I've never heard of it. But it doesn't look like Michigan out there."_

"No, definitely not Michigan," Cecil agrees. "Odd things happen here, though."

"There's the understatement of the century," says Carlos, wryly. "You're from Aperture?" he says, to Chell.

She nods. _"Yes. But I don't know how I'm here."_

"She says yes," Cecil relates. "But she doesn't know how she's here."

"Something odd has been going on," Carlos tells her. "We found an entrance into the Aperture facility about a month ago. We went down there to investigate… and were nearly killed by the AI who runs the place. GLaDOS."

Chell's eyes flicker noticeably. _"She's still in control down there?"_

"Yes, GLaDOS is still in control," Cecil tells her. "You've met?"

Chell nods. _"I killed her once. Then… then I brought her back. And sort of helped save her life, even though she insists I got her turned into a potato and then tried to feed her to a bird. And then she let me out."_

Cecil looks at Carlos, trying to work out how to repeat this part. "She says… she once killed GLaDOS and brought her back, and then saved her even though… GLaDOS thinks Chell got her turned into a potato and tried to feed her to a bird. And then GLaDOS let her out."

Carlos stares. "I… see. Every time I think things can't get any stranger…"

"I know," Cecil replies, understandingly. Then he looks at Chell again. "The Secret Police are after you," he tells her, going for broke. "Do you know why?"

But instead of answering, she puts her hand into the pocket of her jumpsuit and pulls out a folded piece of paper, offering it to him. He takes it, glancing at Carlos before carefully unfolding it.

And stares some more. The paper shows a rough, confused drawing – like the ones they saw on the walls in Aperture, though clearly in a different hand – and depicts a jagged black landscape with a yellow swarm above it, and a purple swirl beneath, a pair of eyes staring out from its centre. Along the edge of the swarm is written _'Yellow is bad! The sky lies.'_

"…What?!" Carlos exclaims, looking down at it over Cecil's shoulder. "But… that's… _that's why I remember it_!"

"You've seen this before?" Cecil asks.

"Yes," Carlos answers. "When we were in Aperture, when… when GLaDOS split us up, I told you I found that room full of redacted papers? Well, this was drawn on the wall. But what's more, this… Cecil… this is my dream!"

"…OK, that is weird," Cecil concedes. "What do you think it means? It looks sort of like…"

They both stare down at the scrawled drawing again.

"I mean, it's sort of a stretch, but you could kind of go with it being…"

And they look up at each other, the light dawning on both of them at the same time. "The yellow helicopters over Night Vale," they say, in unison.

Oddly, this just makes Chell smile a little. _"You guys should have your own show,"_ she remarks.

Cecil grins. "She thinks we're cute together," he translates.

Carlos grips his hand, but stays focused. "What do we do now?"

_"We need to get back into Aperture,"_ Chell says. _"It shouldn't be here. Your town is in danger."_

This takes Cecil a little by surprise. "Oh," he answers. "She says we need to get back into Aperture. And that Night Vale is in danger."

"Get back?" Carlos repeats. "How? The entrance vanished. For all we know, the facility is gone now."

Chell shakes her head.

"It isn't gone?" Carlos says.

Chell shakes her head again.

"So… how do we get back in?" Cecil asks.

_"You just have to get_ her _attention,"_ Chell says.

"Apparently… we just have to get GLaDOS' attention," Cecil repeats, a little ominously.

"And how do we do that?" Carlos wonders.

Chell shrugs. _"You'll figure something out. I have to go. Watch out for the yellow swarm."_

And – without waiting for Cecil to relate this to Carlos – she gives them a careful nod and then takes off at a run, vaulting smoothly out the open window and away.

Carlos stares after her. "What did she say?" he asks.

"She said we'd figure something out," Cecil replies. "That she had to go, and… that we should watch out for the yellow swarm."

"This is Strex, isn't it?" Carlos says. "That picture, and my dream… it's a warning about them."

Cecil shivers a little, which makes Carlos put a welcome arm around him. "I think so," he answers, cautiously. "Whatever Strex are doing… it has something to do with Aperture. Which we, apparently, need to get back to."

"You really think that's wise?" Carlos asks. "I mean, we almost died a whole bunch of times, and we ended up temporarily _destroying the moon_."

"True," Cecil concedes, "but it was all right in the end, and the World Government – and the Masons, I imagine – put it back. I'm not really worried about that. I'd be more worried about something happening to you."

Carlos turns to look right at him. "I know," he says, softly, and then takes a deep breath. "But… I think we have to do this. I think I had that dream for a reason, and I know the woman in the orange jumpsuit… uh, Chell… didn't turn up here by accident."

Cecil nods. "So… we're going back to Aperture?"

"Yes."

"To find out what Strex wants with it?"

"I fear so."

"And… how do we get back in?"

Carlos looks suddenly sheepish, and Cecil headtilts, grinning warmly at him. "You have an idea?" he asks, almost excitedly. Much as their trip to Aperture was rather scary, it was also a pretty awesome Date Night that he enjoyed a lot more than he lets on.

"I… sort of," Carlos admits. "I've… well. For the last couple of weeks, I've been working on something."

Cecil's eyes light up. "Something… scientific?" he asks.

"Yeah," Carlos replies, and takes his hand, tugging him down to the far end of the lab, gesturing at his workbench. "I've… been trying to make a portal gun."

"You have?" Cecil exclaims. "Would it even work up here?"

"Well, to start off with… not so much," Carlos admits. "I had a few… uh… technical issues. You know that fire at the abandoned warehouse out on the edge of town?"

"That was you?! The Secret Police said it was sunspots! They had the meteorologists do a press conference and everything!"

"I know. I… uh… convinced them about that."

"How?"

"Lasers and a mirror."

Cecil grins. "You're so smart," he says. "And I think this place is rubbing off on you."

"Tell me about it," says Carlos, wryly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but… I wanted it to be a surprise. I know… how much fun you had down there. Before GLaDOS tried to kill us multiple times."

"And during, to be honest," Cecil admits.

"You really are the strangest man I've ever met," Carlos remarks, but warmly.

Cecil grins. "Thank you," he says.

Carlos gives him an odd look, and continues, "So… anyway… long story short, I couldn't get the portals to stabilise. From what I can tell, all of the pale panels in Aperture were coated with a very thin layer of a specific portal conductor. It's made… ironically enough… from moon rocks. Eventually… I sort of managed a workaround…"

He gestures down at the workbench, where there's not one but two small devices, lying amidst a collection of tools and solder. They look a little like a much smaller version of the portal gun at one end, but mostly consist of a smooth black box with a single LED and a button built into it, and what looks like it must be a wrist strap fixed to the back.

"I haven't managed – yet – to make something that can create both portals," Carlos goes on. "But these two miniature versions are linked. They can make one each – and when you go through one, you come out the other. Or… that's the plan."

Cecil stares at him in renewed awe. "You're brilliant," he says. "So… how did you get around the moon rock thing?"

Carlos smiles a little, looking pleased with himself. "Simple, in the end. I included a piece of moon rock in the emitter itself. That was enough to get the portals to stabilise on… well, pretty much any flat surface."

"Where did you get moon rock from?" Cecil asks, impressed.

Carlos shrugs. "eBay."

"…eBay?"

"Yeah."

A beat. And then, "…Is there anything the internet _can't_ do?"

"Make a working portal gun," Carlos says, the barest flicker of pride on his face. "But I can. Well. Sort of." He bounces on his heels. "You want to try it with me?"

Cecil smiles. "Oh yes."

***

For safety reasons, they don't test it in the lab, but head out – Cecil driving again – to the abandoned warehouse on the edge of town. It's nearly sunset when they arrive, the light fading fast, but enough of the building's roof has collapsed that there's sufficient illumination inside to work by, at least for now.

Some of the building still has bits of police tape on it, fluttering in the breeze. _'Caution: Meteorological Activity'_ it warns, which makes Carlos grin.

"I didn't _mean_ to set it on fire, I hasten to add," he says, looking sheepish again. "It just… sort of happened. By accident. But I fixed it now. It should be perfectly safe."

"Besides," Cecil replies, "surely all great science requires a little risk?"

"True enough."

"And the occasional fire?"

"…More often than you would think, actually."

They head inside, and Carlos takes out the two mini portal emitters, strapping one to his own wrist and then taking Cecil's hand, doing the same to him with the other.

"All right," he says. "You just need to point it at a suitable section of wall and hit the button. But… I'll go first. Just in case."

And Carlos squares up to an intact part of the wall, aiming the portal emitter at it. "Here goes nothing…" he says… and fires.

There's a familiar electric whine, a bolt of light… and a glowing, magenta portal bursts into life on the wall. Cecil breaks into applause. "You're brilliant!" he says, wrapping his arms around Carlos from behind and kissing him on the base of his neck.

Carlos presses back into him, but gestures excitedly at another section of the wall. "Now you try it," he urges.

Cecil lets go of him – after one more kiss – and turns to aim at the wall. "For science!" he declares, and fires. The same sound cuts the air, along with another bolt of light, and a shimmering purple portal erupts into existence.

Carlos cheers with delight. "It worked! It worked!"

He moves in front of the magenta portal, as Cecil steps up to the purple one – and, sure enough, even though they're side-by-side, they're also staring right at each other through the gaps in reality. "Carlos," Cecil says, "you're a genius."

And then, just because he can, he reaches out through the portal and pulls Carlos in to kiss him, in the midst of a haze of coloured light, the joy of success and the thrill of _science_ simply too much to deny. The other man is warm and lovely up against him, and he marvels – not for the first time – at how perfect life is, now they're together.

Carlos grins at him as they finally break apart. "We should do some further testing," he says, brightly. "You know… just to be sure."

So they do.

***

It's well past sunset – and properly dark – by the time they leave, having spent some time once more enjoying the thrill of playing about with portals. Eventually, though, they power the little devices down (causing the portals to slowly fade from existence) and set off back into Night Vale.

As they drive, Cecil glances over at Carlos. "So… tell me something. Now we have these portal emitters of yours… which are just _so_ cool, by the way… how do we use them to get GLaDOS' attention?"

"I… sort of have an idea," Carlos admits. "But it's a little… weird."

"Carlos," Cecil says, gently, "this is Night Vale. Weird is the new black."

"…True. Well. OK. You have to promise not to laugh, though."

"Laugh? Why would I laugh?"

Carlos takes a deep breath. "Because we're going to the Night Vale Zoo. And we're going to borrow a deer."

"…Borrow a deer?"

"Yes."

"From the zoo?"

"Yes."

"…You have the strangest plans."

"Well, true," Carlos concedes. "But your radio station used to have a coffee machine that ate people, so I still feel normal in comparison."

"Point taken," says Cecil. "I don't think the zoo – or the Secret Police – will be pleased if we steal a deer, though."

"Borrow!" Carlos insists. "Borrow, admittedly without permission, but with nothing but good intentions and a clear plan to return it."

"…All right. But if we get caught and I end up getting called in for re-education again…"

He shudders. Carlos reaches over and grips his shoulder. "I won't let that happen."

Cecil takes a deep breath. Best just to… not think about it. "OK, then. Let's go… borrow a deer, to entice a murderous sentient computer to let us back into a massive underground facility that used to be in Michigan. That Strex Corp may have sinister intentions towards."

Amazing what a motivator that last part is.

***

"This is… without a doubt… the weirdest thing we've ever done…" Cecil mutters to himself.

Right now, he's balanced on a high wall, a portal glowing a little way beneath him, watching Carlos try to chase a nervous-looking doe into a second portal on the rear fence of the deer enclosure.

At least there _are_ walls and fences now. This would have been much more dangerous – though perhaps easier – before the renovations.

"Come… here!" Carlos exclaims, as the doe gets round him again. "Oh… this is ridiculous!"

Cecil can't help a grin, even though he's nervous. The things they do for science… "I'm coming in," he says, and lowers himself down from the wall, lifting the loose flap in the deer fence (hopefully the lion pen has been renovated _better_ ) and heading over.

"I don't think it likes me," Carlos says, gesturing at the doe.

"We just want to borrow you!" Cecil tells it, in what he hopes is a soothing tone.

The doe looks unimpressed, but does seem somehow drawn by the words. The brief distraction is enough to let them corral it into a corner, close to the portal.

"Go on," Cecil tells it. "Go through. It's nice out there. Lots of… uh… desert. You can go explore."

This gets them what could almost be a shrug and then the doe turns and ambles off through the portal.

"Yes!" Carlos exclaims, as they hurry after it, re-appearing on the outside wall and powering down the emitters before anything else can decide to follow them.

Somehow, they then manage to corral the doe into the back of Cecil's car. It does not look at all pleased about this, and sits nibbling at the seat upholstery as Cecil drives – as rapidly as is legal – away from the scene of the… borrowing… and back out of Night Vale, into the scrublands.

Eventually, they head off down a dirt track away from the main road, out into the familiar darkness. It's so like that first night – apart from the deer in the back seat – that it makes Cecil smile to himself at the memory.

"You think here is good?" he asks, finally.

"Let's see," Carlos replies.

They park up, and persuade the doe out of the back of the car – which is rather easier than getting it in there in the first place.

"All right," Carlos says, pointing his flashlight out over the scrublands. "Now we just let it… whoa!"

The doe takes off at a run, before either of them can get hold of it, hurtling across the dark desert and away. Carlos races after it for a moment, but quickly stops, staring at the retreating animal in resignation. "Oh dear," he remarks, then realises what he's said and breaks into slightly hysterical laughter.

Cecil moves over to his side. "That… didn't go so well," he says.

"It really didn't," Carlos agrees. "Now how are we going to… oh… _oh_ … Cecil, look."

The whole area had been nothing but empty desert and the odd wiry bush when they got here, but now, a little way up ahead… is a lone metal shack.

"It worked," Cecil whispers. "Carlos, it worked!"

Very cautiously, they walk up to it. Visually, it seems identical to the shack they used to get into Aperture the first time, but it's in a completely different part of the desert. And, as they move around it, they can see that – above the metal door – there's a blinking red light.

"…You think that's a bad sign?" Cecil asks.

"Could be," Carlos agrees. He reaches out, grasping the door handle and, unsurprisingly, nothing happens. It won't budge, not even a little.

He sighs. "You try?"

Cecil nods and takes hold of the handle… and, sure enough, it clicks open at once. Carlos just shakes his head in resignation, and Cecil pushes the door back – and behind it is an equally familiar dark staircase, leading down.

The two men glance at each other. "You ready for this?" Cecil asks.

"No," Carlos admits, "but we have to go. If Night Vale is in danger… we have to save it. Whatever it takes."

Cecil nods. His Carlos is so brave. He reaches out, gripping his boyfriend's hand.

"Come on, then," he says.

"…Don't even _think_ about it," comes a familiar, robotic voice from the stairwell. GLaDOS. "You step even _one_ foot down here and I will open up so many pits of fire you'll _never_ avoid them all."

"But we need to," Cecil insists. "Night Vale is in danger!"

"You think that worries me?" GLaDOS retorts. "You try to _entice_ me with a deer and _break_ into my facility _again_ , and you think I'll just forget all that because your little town is threatened?"

"Yes," says Carlos, fiercely, before Cecil can speak. "And you know why? Because the danger affects you too. The people behind it are a company called Strex Corp… and they're in league with someone you know. Black Mesa."

There's a deathly silence at this. "…Black Mesa?" GLaDOS repeats, finally, her voice full of repressed emotion.

"Yes," Carlos answers. "Black Mesa."

More deathly silence. And then, "…All right," GLaDOS says, very grudgingly. "But you break _anything_ and there _will_ be consequences. Flammable, screaming consequences."

"…Point taken," Carlos replies. He grips Cecil's hand. "Shall we… wait, wait, what was that?"

For at that moment, there's a commotion in the distance, and what sounds like it might be gunfire. Carlos immediately leaps in front of Cecil, as they both turn to see what's going on. There's lights out in the desert, drawing shakily closer, and as they look across the flat scrubland it's clear that two people are running towards them, flashlights in hand, chasing a third. A third, who is racing ahead in a spiral of sand, running flat-out as if everything depends on it.

A woman in an orange jumpsuit.

"Chell?" Cecil says in surprise. "That looks like Chell."

It is. She starts waving frantically at them as she gets closer, and Cecil can hear her shouting, _"Run! Run!"_

"She's telling us to run," he says, tugging Carlos into the dark stairwell, and they hurry off down it… down into Aperture once more.

"Oh no," they hear GLaDOS mutter. "Oh _no_. Not… _her_!"

The stairwell leads into a wide, open room with a door at the far end. As they race into it, there's another commotion behind them and Chell comes hurtling into the room, stopping dead when she sees that the next door hasn't opened, face full of sudden worry. She spins around, just in time to see two more figures burst in from the stairwell, taking up positions either side of the entrance and pointing guns at the three of them.

This time, Cecil steps in front of Carlos before the other man can react, looking over at Chell to see what she'll do.

"Nobody move!" one of the newcomers shouts.

Now that they're close up, it's clear that the newcomers are both men – one tall, one short – dressed in matching black suits with bright, rather garish yellow ties. They each have a badge on their left lapel – a yellow triangle, with an orange capital S inside it.

But all Cecil needs is the look in their eyes. They're from Strex Corp.

_"Don't tell them anything,"_ Chell says – and from the lack of reaction, Cecil guesses the two men from Strex can't hear her either.

"What do you want?" Carlos demands.

"That is _not_ your concern," the tall man replies.

"Maybe not," GLaDOS interjects. "But it is _mine_."

The two men from Strex look up as her voice cuts the air, looking for the source. "And you are?" the short man demands.

"I am the one in charge of this facility," GLaDOS tells them. "So kindly _get out_ before there are consequences."

"Consequences?" the tall man repeats. "Such as?"

"Tell them," GLaDOS says, and the words are clearly meant for Cecil and Carlos.

"…A pit of fire," Cecil says, flatly. "She'll open up a pit of fire."

"Or deadly neurotoxin," Carlos adds, catching on. "There could be some of that, too."

_"Or a mashy spike plate,"_ Chell says, making Cecil laugh.

"What's so funny?" the short man demands.

"Or a mashy spike plate," Cecil repeats, for everyone else's benefit.

Carlos stares. "…How is that scientific?!" he exclaims.

Cecil pats his hand. "Maybe worry about that later?"

"So you should get out," GLaDOS cuts across. "Before one of those things happens."

"I don't think so," the tall man growls. "Strex Corp does not take orders from computers, sentient or otherwise. Strex Corp does not take orders from anyone except the Management Board… and they take orders from _no one_."

"Consequences it is, then," GLaDOS replies, and there's an ominous metallic clunk from beneath them… but before anything can happen, the tall man has grabbed hold of Chell, and is pointing his gun at her head.

"Another move, and she dies," he threatens. "Even if you kill us… she dies too."

There's another of those terrible silences, and then, "…Fine," GLaDOS says, flatly.

Chell looks surprised by this. _"You… do care?"_ she says, softly, looking up at the ceiling. And somehow… Cecil realises that this part isn't meant for him to repeat. But GLaDOS doesn't respond to it, and he's struck by the understanding that she can't hear Chell either.

"Now," says the short man. "We're going deeper into this facility. And these three are coming with us, to… help. And to ensure no unexpected disasters befall us."

_"Oh, they will,"_ Chell whispers, with a flicker of a smile, and a sideways look at Cecil. _"They will."_

***

There is a distinct lack of test chambers as they walk the corridors of Aperture, and Cecil knows this has to be significant. He's sure GLaDOS must be moving the rooms and panels about as much as she can, clearing the way for them, and – at the same time – directing them toward something she can use against their mutual enemies.

The men from Strex don't speak as they walk. The tall man keeps his gun to Chell's head, but although she seems concerned, she doesn't seem outright afraid – and she keeps throwing little glances over at Cecil, as if somehow reminding him who really has the upper hand here.

He has to hope she's right.

"What do you want with this place?" Carlos tries, after a few minutes.

"I told you not to ask questions," the short man says.

"I know you did," Carlos replies. "But I'm a scientist. It's my job to ask questions. So. What do you want with this place?"

"The objectives of the Management Board and their stakeholders are not public knowledge," the short man insists, flatly.

Chell smiles. _"You don't know…"_ she says, an almost sing-song edge to her tone.

This makes Cecil smile again. Carlos catches the expression, his eyes flicking between his boyfriend and their orange-clad ally, seeming oddly reassured to know that something is going on, even if he can't work out what it is just yet.

"So… how will you know when you've found what you're looking for, if you don't know what it is?" Carlos has to ask.

"We know what it is!" the tall man exclaims. "We just aren't telling you."

Carlos looks sideways at him. "…It's not a miniature star, is it?"

The two men from Strex stop and stare back, their eyes darkening dangerously. "You know about the star?" the short man asks.

"Know about it?" Carlos repeats. He's on a roll and it's wonderful to watch, even if Cecil is now a little worried about what the consequences might be. "We found it. A month ago. Shot it at the moon." A beat, and the vaguest proud hint, which Cecil suspects is deliberate. "It's gone."

"That isn't good news," the short man says.

"It was for me," GLaDOS interjects. "That thing nearly destroyed my facility."

"And how is it our fault that _your_ scientists couldn't follow the plans they _stole_ from Black Mesa?" the short man insists, apparently before he can stop himself. "That was supposed to be _our_ star."

_"Well, invest in better locks, then,"_ Chell says, flashing a little grin at Cecil again.

"It's no matter," the tall man interjects, glaring at his colleague. "We can fix it when we get there." He looks up. "Take us to the place the star was," he says, evidently to GLaDOS.

"Oh, I am," GLaDOS replies. "Believe me. There's a lovely big hole there that I'm so hoping you'll fall down…"

Before this can provoke the otherwise inevitable fresh threats from the yellow-tied Strex men, the door ahead of them opens, and beyond it is a test chamber.

"Ah, this is embarrassing," GLaDOS says, in a tone that is clearly anything but embarrassed. "I'm afraid you're going to have to solve this test chamber in order to proceed. Terribly sorry. Completely unavoidable. And by 'you,' I mean 'Chell,' because none of you others are capable of solving this one, even if you could manage to work out how."

Chell looks up in surprise again. _"Seriously, stop being nice to me, it's creepy,"_ she says… and Cecil guesses he's probably not supposed to repeat this part, either.

"You'll need this, of course," GLaDOS adds, raising a pedestal into the room just ahead of them – a pedestal on which lies a portal gun.

"You've… done a lot of this before, haven't you?" Carlos says to Chell, as the orange-clad woman walks over to take the device, watching as she grips it, comfortable and familiar.

Chell merely nods.

"No funny business," the tall man insists, waving his rather less welcome gun at them. "Try anything, and this unnecessarily cute couple will pay the price."

Cecil steps in front of Carlos again. No one hurts his boyfriend. No one. He looks hopefully at Chell.

_"Don't worry,"_ she says. _"I'm on your side."_

And then, calmly, she walks to the edge of the platform they're standing on. The room they're in is huge, and high, and looks terribly complicated. Large parts of it are composed of the dark panels that don't allow portals… although Cecil finds himself wondering if Carlos' portal emitters might be able to get past that.

But… no sense in revealing too much just yet. Not if they're going to turn the situation to their advantage.

Chell glances over her shoulder, a flicker of a smile on her face… and then she fires a portal into a seemingly random part of the wall (but surely not really random at all) and then jumps, firing beneath her as she falls.

And what follows… is breathtaking. Every move Chell makes is timed and precise, yet effortless at the same time. The strange boots she's wearing seem to make it possible for her to fall long distances without being injured, and with that advantage she's able to pull off some truly spectacular manoeuvres.

"…Makes our efforts look a bit pedestrian, doesn't she?" Carlos mutters to Cecil, as they watch.

"Tell me about it," Cecil replies. "What is she doing with that weird cube..?"

"…Wait, are those turrets?"

"…Are those turrets _on fire_?"

"…Oh… I…"

"…Oh."

They stare, as Chell keeps moving, now racing off along another platform and vaulting smoothly into midair again, firing new portals as she falls.

"…I'm not into girls," Carlos manages. "But if I was…"

"…Yeah," Cecil has to agree. "Oh yeah."

"…You two are going the right way to end up locked in the room where all the robots scream at you…" GLaDOS threatens, tellingly.

"Stop encouraging the AI," the tall man throws across, though he seems a little distracted as well, and can't take his eyes off the test chamber.

Eventually, Chell drops to a graceful halt by the distant exit door, which is open at last. She pauses for a second… and then fires two new portals, one on the wall close to her, and one at the bottom of that initial pit.

_"Trust me,"_ Cecil hears Chell say, as clear as if she was standing right beside him.

And somehow… GLaDOS seems to understand what's going on too. "Jump!" she shouts, urgently.

Carlos works it out first, but he doesn't have time to say anything to Cecil. All he can do is grab hold of his boyfriend… and throw them both off the ledge. It happens so fast that Cecil doesn't even have time to scream. They're just falling and falling… and then the world half-inverts and suddenly they're falling _sideways_ , skidding along the ground near to the now not-so-distant exit door. They collide roughly – but not dangerously – with the wall, collapsing into a heap.

"…We are never doing that again!" Cecil manages, trying to work out which way is up.

"Are you OK?" Carlos asks him, hurriedly. "I didn't have time to say anything, I just had to…"

"…I know," Cecil reassures him – and he does, even if his stomach is still doing summersaults.

They stagger to their feet, but before they can say anything, Chell quickly fires another blue portal, to cancel out the one at the bottom of that pit – stopping the Strex men from following them – and then grabs Cecil's shoulder. _"Run!"_ she urges.

And, as the gunfire echoes behind them, they do.

***

"I don't even know why I'm helping you," GLaDOS remarks, as they hurry along the corridors of Aperture, trying to put as much distance as possible between them and the two men from Strex.

_"Me neither,"_ Chell mutters.

"Well, we're glad you are," Carlos says. "Are they still following us?"

"I can't tell anymore," GLaDOS replies, sounding irritated. "They got behind the panels after you abandoned them in that test chamber, and now I can't see them. But one thing's for sure, they know more than they're letting on."

_"What was all that about the star?"_ Chell asks.

"She's asking about the star," Cecil says to Carlos. "The last time we were here, we found a miniature star," he explains for Chell. "Carlos doesn't know how it existed, but it did. But it doesn't anymore. We shot it at the moon."

But before Chell can respond to this, the door up ahead slams shut in their faces. "Wait," GLaDOS cuts in. "You can hear her talking?"

"Uh… yes," Cecil has to admit, because it's pretty much impossible to deny now. "No one else seems to be able to, but I can. In my head."

"You _talk_?!" GLaDOS exclaims, evidently to Chell. "I thought you were mute!"

Chell glances up. _"Not… quite,"_ she says, and then looks slightly guiltily at Cecil.

"Not quite," he repeats.

"All this time!" GLaDOS exclaims. "Well… don't you have anything to say to me now?"

Chell headtilts, evidently thinking. And then… _"…You made a cute potato."_

Cecil collapses into laughter, making Carlos look at him in surprise. "What?" GLaDOS demands, tetchily. "What did she say?"

"…She says you made a cute potato," Cecil repeats.

Now Carlos collapses into laughter, making Cecil pat him on the shoulder. " _What_?!" GLaDOS repeats. "Oh… I should have just let you fly off into space with that little idiot…"

_"But you couldn't,"_ Chell says. _"And that's weird. Uh… don't repeat that part,"_ she adds, glancing at Cecil.

"What did she say?" GLaDOS demands.

"Uh… nothing," Cecil lies.

There is a very awkward silence, and then the door up ahead opens again. "I swear, you are _all_ going in a pit of fire when we get those intruders out of my facility…" GLaDOS mutters.

***

They hurry on and on, deeper into Aperture. There's a couple more test chambers which GLaDOS insists are 'unavoidable,' though Cecil remains unconvinced – and doubly-so when they once more turn out to be those amazingly complex chambers that require Chell to pull off all sorts of impressive tricks to get through them.

He's starting to suspect that GLaDOS enjoys watching her – and judging by the knowing look in Carlos' eyes, he isn't the only one harbouring such suspicions.

"What are we going to do when we get there?" Cecil asks, as they head on along a new corridor.

"I have no idea," Carlos admits. "The star is gone… so why the men from Strex wanted to see where it had been… I don't know."

"Me neither," GLaDOS says. "But… I have been picking up some weird energy readings from that location. Not like before, but… different."

"And when were you going to tell us this?" Cecil asks.

"I just did," GLaDOS replies, flatly – as a wall panel opens up beside them. "This way. You're nearly there. I did it faster this time. Amazing what a motivator a couple of armed intruders from an ally to Black Mesa can be…"

Chell looks up and shakes her head in resignation. "Oh, don't you start with me," GLaDOS says to her.

Cecil and Carlos exchange another knowing look… and they head behind the panel.

***

"…Oh, that's not good," Cecil says, staring out at the problem ahead of them.

"What?" GLaDOS demands. "You know I can't see back there. You're going to have to tell me."

"Well, you know when you used that 'sphere-catapult' you so inexplicably had to launch the star into space..?"

"Yes..?"

"…It sort of broke things down here. A bit."

'Broke' is something of an understatement. The vast chamber where the star-containing sphere once hung – above an even vaster pit below – seems to have been cracked in two. Half of the ceiling at the far end of the space has collapsed, and there's a huge chasm between them and the place where the sphere used to be.

"Define 'broke,'" GLaDOS demands. "Things do not 'break' in my pursuit of science. They just become… alternatively-aligned."

"Well, your 'alternatively-aligned' sphere-chamber is going to pose us some problems," Carlos cuts in. "Although…"

He grins suddenly, and Cecil can see that his boyfriend's mind is working fast. It's wonderful to watch.

_"You have an idea?"_ Chell asks. _"There's no portalable surfaces down here, so how do we get across that gap?"_

"She's asking if you've got an idea," Cecil relates to Carlos. "She says… wait, is 'portalable' even a word?"

Chell shrugs.

"…OK, well, she says there's no portalable surfaces, so she doesn't know how we get over that chasm."

Carlos grins again, and takes Cecil's hand, lifting it to tap at the portal emitter he's still wearing on his wrist. "Maybe not… portalable… by conventional equipment," he says. "But these aren't conventional…"

Chell looks surprised. _"You have your own portal guns?"_

Cecil nods, looking admiringly at Carlos again. "Yes," he says, proudly. "We have our own portal guns."

"Shall we?" Carlos asks, a renewed flicker of excitement in his eyes.

"Oh yes," Cecil agrees.

Carlos aims at the wall close by, and hits the button on his emitter… and, sure enough, a glowing magenta portal bursts into life on the seemingly un-portalable surface.

_"Whoa…"_ Chell mutters.

Cecil grins. "Chell's impressed," he tells Carlos, happily, and then aims out over the chasm at the edge of one of the pillars holding up the roof. He fires… and a purple portal erupts at the base of the pillar.

Chell applauds. _"I knew hanging around with you two was a good idea,"_ she says – and promptly hurries through the portal close by, emerging on the far side of the chasm.

"I think she likes us," Cecil says to Carlos, and takes his hand. "Because of you being so brilliant at science."

Carlos blushes a little. "I try," he says. "Come on, we should follow her."

They step through the portal, appearing at Chell's side, at the base of the once-distant pillar.

"…So you have your own portal guns," GLaDOS remarks, dryly. "And you wonder why I want you out of here – or on fire – as soon as possible. You two are _bad_ for science."

"We're great for science!" Cecil insists.

But before GLaDOS can reply to this, there's a crash from overhead, and two figures rappel into the room from somewhere high above… two figures in black suits with horrible yellow ties.

_"Oh no, not you again,"_ Chell mutters.

"So you thought you could get away from Strex Corp?" says the short man, smugly, as they detach from their abseiling lines and draw their guns.

"Well, you can't," the tall man adds. "And what's more… we followed you. You led us right where we needed to be."

"What good does it do?" GLaDOS demands, coldly. "The star is gone. What use is it to see where it was?"

"Oh, but it isn't just about _where_ it was," says the tall man.

"It's about _when_ ," says the short man.

"Oh no…" Carlos breathes. "But… but would that… oh, it might…"

"What is it?" Cecil asks him, worriedly.

"This facility is under Night Vale now," Carlos says. "Night Vale, where none of the clocks are real and time doesn't work properly. And where, as a consequence – or perhaps as a _cause_ – time travel is legal."

The tall man applauds. "Bravo," he remarks. "With a mind like that, you'd do well in Strex Corp."

" _Never_ ," Carlos replies at once, making Cecil grip his hand tight.

"Either way, it doesn't matter," says the short man. "We know _where_ the star was, and _when_ it was. Now all we need to do… is go there. Then."

"And then what?" Carlos demands. He's so impressive when he's fierce. So impressive all the time, but especially now. "How are you going to move a hundred-foot star? Even if it is inexplicably possible to get right up to it without being incinerated… it's not exactly going to fit through the door!"

"Not when it's that big," the tall man agrees. "That's why we go back further… to when it was smaller. It will have taken several days to reach that size. We just track it back to when it was little…"

"…Got this all figured out, haven't you?" Cecil says, but nervously – because it seems they _have_ got it all figured out, and that's more than a little worrying.

"Yes, we have," replies the short man. "Strex Corp does not run headlong into situations without preparation. Strex Corp is always prepared. Strex Corp is _everything_."

_"…Creepy,"_ Chell remarks.

"…This isn't good," Carlos whispers to Cecil, as the short man stands keeping them at gunpoint, whilst his tall colleague pulls out a black wooden box with a blinking yellow light on top.

"I know," Cecil agrees, equally softly. "Time travel may be legal, but you still have to get each trip approved in advance by the City Council. I hope they don't think this was us when they find out about it. I don't want another visit from the Secret Police."

"…That isn't what I meant, although… I guess that's a good point too. But what I meant is, we know what happens to that star. We _know_ it ends up getting fired into space."

"Yes. So..?"

"So… if these guys go back in time and take it first… that can't ever happen, can it?"

"No. I guess it can't. And that isn't good?"

"No," Carlos replies. "That's a paradox. All of this – everything that's happened since I first picked up those weird energy readings that eventually led us down here for the first time – it all becomes a paradox… because us coming down here the second time to cause the _earlier_ removal of the star is contingent upon us having _found_ the star in the first place."

Cecil stares, lost. "…And that means?"

"Well… if we're lucky, we just reset the timeline. If we're unlucky… we destroy all of reality. In all directions."

"…All of reality?"

"Yeah."

"In all directions?"

"Yeah. Paradoxes are messy."

"That seems like something of an understatement!" Cecil exclaims. "So… how do we stop it?"

"We make sure they don't move that star," Carlos answers. "Everything depends on it."

But before Cecil can reply, the tall man has opened the black box… and begun to chant. It's a language Cecil doesn't recognise, but by the way it echoes unnaturally in the vast chamber, he's sure it can't be good news. Yellow light starts to dance up from the box, forming a swirling spiral in midair.

"Are you performing ancient black magics in my facility?" GLaDOS demands.

"Ancient _what_..?!" Chell remarks.

"…Wait, was that you?!" GLaDOS exclaims. "Chell… I think I just heard that!"

"Me too!" Carlos says, in equal surprise.

Then there's a burst of violent yellow light, a sound like stone scraping over stone… and all of reality inverts.

***

Cecil blinks. He's standing in the vast chamber inside Aperture, Carlos at his side, Chell close by. The short man is pointing a gun at them, and the tall man is closing the box with the yellow light.

But the room… is different. It looks as it did the first time Cecil and Carlos saw it – intact and undamaged, with a huge, beige sphere hanging in the centre, suspended above the even vaster chamber below.

"…What just happened?" Chell manages.

"I think we time travelled," Carlos replies. "And… I can hear you."

She stares at him. "You can? Oh… you can! How is that possible?"

"I have no idea," Carlos admits.

"Could it be a side effect of the time travel?" Cecil wonders.

"I guess," Carlos says. "I've never time travelled before so… OK, wow, that's not a sentence I expected to use today…"

"Whenever 'today' is," Chell adds.

"Good point," Carlos replies.

"Are you three quite done?" says the short man, tetchily – and getting three glowers in return. He glances sullenly at his tall colleague. "In there?"

The tall man nods. "Yes. It should be inside this sphere…–"

"…Welcome to the Aperture Science Industrial Espionage Labs!" declares a voice from a loudspeaker on the pillar close by. It isn't GLaDOS, though: this time it's a man, with a ringing, confident tone. "I'm Cave Johnson, and I've recorded this message to greet you as you arrive at the latest, greatest development Aperture Science has to offer."

"Oh, that's him!" Carlos exclaims. "You remember, the cube-and-button guy?" Cecil nods in response, but can't get a word of his own in, because Cave Johnson is clearly on a roll.

"Of course, if you've entered this area of the facility, you no doubt have the requisite clearances and access codes to be here, so good on you for being judged reliable enough to qualify!" the recorded message goes on. "Though, if you've gotten in here some other way, please bear in mind that armed agents have already been summoned, and you will shortly be shot dead. No exceptions. Isn't that right, Caroline?"

"Yes sir, Mr Johnson!" comes a second voice, perky and female and… ever so slightly familiar, in the weirdest way. "They're armed and dangerous!"

"They sure are," Cave replies. "Now, assuming that you haven't been shot by our armed agents for intruding, you will be able to see our impressive new Industrial Espionage Labs. This is where we work on research and technologies we've acquired from other companies, to make up for the fact that _they_ keep stealing research from _us_. Black Mesa can take a running jump without long-fall boots… and the same goes for those new friends of theirs. What are they called again, Caroline?"

"Strex Corp!" she answers, brightly.

"Yeah, that's them. Strex Corp, Black Mesa… they think they can edge Aperture out of the market, but I say: why let 'em?! So that's why I re-mortgaged the entire facility! The lot! Spent all the money on this lab. And soon, it'll put Aperture Science back on the map. You mark my words…–"

He's interrupted at this point as the tall man raises his gun and shoots the loudspeaker. It cuts out with a clang and an electric whine, and then his short colleague headtilts at him.

The tall man shrugs. "I was sick of listening to the guy. Come on, we don't have all day."

"Except we do," says the short man. "Because of the time travel."

"Touché."

Carlos rolls his eyes, making both Cecil and Chell grin. And then – admittedly still at gunpoint – they're waved ahead by the two men from Strex, over to the beige sphere and up the steps to the door.

"Open it," the short man insists.

Cecil takes a deep breath. "Here goes nothing…" he says, and opens the door.

And 'nothing' seems to be pretty apt. He's braced for that vibrant, purple light, but there's nothing. No light, no glow, and – as he opens the door wider – clearly no star.

"…Huh?" Carlos breathes. "I thought it was supposed to still be here?"

"It _was_ ," says the tall man, agitated, as he hustles them all inside the sphere. There's various computer panels within – just like before – but no star; just an open, empty space where it ought to be.

No. Not quite empty. Hanging in the centre of the room – seemingly just hovering in midair – is a dark purple sphere, about the size of a basketball.

"Now this _will_ impress you," comes Cave Johnson's voice again, from another loudspeaker just above the door. "What you're standing inside is the first prototype Star Containment Sphere – built faster than the _lovely_ people at Black Mesa could manage. And that, in the centre, that's a Star Seed, developed right here at Aperture using plans appropriated from our sinister competitors. When we work out how to spark that thing off, there'll be near-limitless energy for the taking and it will be Aperture who reaps the benefits. Of course, given that creating a stable miniature star does violate _quite_ a few of the laws of physics, we're having slight difficulties in getting it to ignite. Do you know how? 'Cause, if you do, we have a lifetime's supply of our patent-pending Repulsion Gel to give away to the brilliant and/or lucky scientist who makes it possible!"

There's another gunshot, and the tall man shoots out the loudspeaker, before Cave Johnson can shed any light on what 'Repulsion Gel' might be.

"…This guy was nuts, wasn't he?" Carlos mutters.

"Oh, you don't know the _half_ of it…" Chell replies.

"So… if Aperture couldn't get the star going… how come it was here?" Cecil asks, looking at Carlos in confusion.

"Good question," Carlos replies. "I did wonder how they managed to create it _after_ all the scientists ended up dead, and now I… oh. Oh. _Oh_..!"

"You worked it out?" Cecil asks.

"I… yes… but… but that would mean we… _oh_!" Carlos looks at both Cecil and Chell, his eyes suddenly urgent. "Create a diversion. Quick! I don't think we have long…"

Chell doesn't need telling twice. She takes off across the room at a run, making both of the Strex Corp men turn in surprise as she vaults effortlessly over the barrier and races out towards the dark purple ball. "Hey!" the tall man shouts. "Stop, or we shoot!"

"Oh no you don't!" Carlos declares, and leaps at the tall man – but rather than going for his gun, he knocks the black box from his hands. The black box full of time travel energy. "Cecil!" he shouts. "Grab that!"

Cecil dives for the box, snatching it up before the short man can intercept him, and looking out into the room – realising he's only got a few seconds to react. "Go long!" he shouts to Chell, and throws the box in a high arc, out in her direction. Memories of the days when he used to play football back at high school come to mind – though distantly, partly because of the steady passage of time, and partly because he was really very bad at it.

The box crashes to the floor beneath the hanging purple ball and bursts open. Violent yellow light shoots up from it, starting to spiral around the ball, faster and faster and brighter and brighter.

Everyone freezes, staring in shock.

" _Now_ I get it!" Carlos declares, triumphant.

Then there's a vast burst of purple light, and the ball erupts into a twenty foot-wide sphere of slowly rotating energy, churning and glowing.

The star.

Chell, somewhere on the far side, whoops in delight. "Take that, science!" she declares.

"Wait… is this a paradox?" Cecil asks Carlos.

"Yes!" Carlos declares, seemingly halfway between delight and mild hysteria. "And reality hasn't been destroyed! Isn't that amazing?"

Cecil smiles. "Yeah, it kinda is," he agrees. "Now… I think we should run!"

"Seconded!" Carlos says, as they both start racing towards the door – the men from Strex turning to pursue.

"Chell, run for it!" Cecil calls, and then he bursts out the door, Carlos right at his heels, heading back down the stairs and into the chamber beyond. The air is starting to vibrate, tasting cool but not actually feeling cold, and he's vaguely aware that something is rapidly becoming more and more not right.

"We need to get out of here!" Carlos shouts to him. "Make portals! We have to get to that upper gantry again!"

So Cecil fires at the wall at the base of the huge pillar as they run – and at exactly the same moment that Carlos does. Only, Carlos fires at the same place, having apparently expected Cecil to fire up instead. The two beams of light hit the wall at precisely the same second and erupt in a backdraft of energy… and a shimmering, indigo vortex blazes into life.

"What happened?" Cecil exclaims.

"I don't know!" Carlos replies, eyes wide with shock. "That shouldn't even be possible!"

There's a burst of gunfire behind them, as the men from Strex take up positions close to the sphere and start firing.

"No one," Carlos shouts, " _messes with my boyfriend_!"

He leaps forward, grabbing hold of Cecil… and bowls them straight into the indigo portal.

The world inverts all over again, and then darkness overtakes…

***

Cecil cautiously blinks his eyes open. He's lying on his back, and he can feel cool air on his face, and hear… a soft, metallic rustling overhead. Where is he?

"…Cecil?" he hears Carlos groan. "Cecil… are you..?"

There's movement at his side, and then Carlos drops suddenly down onto his chest, holding on tight. "Oh," he whispers. "What happened? There was… I remember… I…"

The world starts to swim into view overhead. Cecil puts his arms around Carlos and slowly sits them both upright, staring around as reality – or what passes for it – reasserts.

They're outside, and it's light. They're lying on the grass, several trees close by – although some of the trees are thin and metallic, with sparse leaves like tinfoil. A light breeze lifts the air, carrying with it the scent of sage and water, even though there's none of either anywhere close by. And then… Cecil turns to the side, and sees it. Sees… a huge, towering black wall, glittering like obsidian and seemingly insurmountable, stretching off in both directions.

Terror grips his heart, bright and all-pervading.

"What is it?" Carlos whispers, seeing the look in his boyfriend's eyes.

"I…" Cecil tries. His voice has gone a little high-pitched with shock. "Carlos, I… I don't know how, but… I think we're in the Dog Park."

"…The forbidden Dog Park?"

"Yes."

"…The forbidden Dog Park that no one is even supposed to acknowledge too closely?"

"…Yes."

"The forbidden Dog Park that no one is even supposed to acknowledge too closely and that you regularly warn people to stay away from on your show?"

" _Yes_."

"Well, that's… ah… that's… that's not good, is it?"

Cecil just shakes his head.

For a moment, neither of them seems able to speak, as the full weight of the situation settles in. And then, Carlos' expression goes resolute, and he clambers to his feet, helping Cecil up too. "We can get out of here," he says. "Trust me. We can. So far today, we've time travelled and completed the loop of a paradox. Getting out of the forbidden Dog Park will be child's play in comparison."

"You… really think so?" Cecil says, feeling a flicker of hope.

"Yes," Carlos replies, firmly. "Yes, I do." He grips Cecil's hands, pulling them into his chest and holding on tight. "We can do this. You and me. We can."

Cecil takes a deep breath, and nods. "You're right. We can. We… need to be careful, though."

"Oh, I know," Carlos agrees. " _Very_ careful."

And, cautiously, they start to walk away from the wall… and deeper into the forbidden Dog Park.

***

"…What just happened?" Cecil says, stopping suddenly and looking at Carlos in a haze.

"…I have no idea," Carlos answers, looking back at him in confusion. "Did we just… was someone just here?"

"I don't think so," Cecil replies. "I mean, surely… surely we would..?" He turns… and catches sight of a figure, disappearing between the trees a little way off. He can't see the man's face… but it's clear that he's wearing a tan jacket and carrying a leather suitcase. "Wait… is that..?"

Carlos turns to look as well, but by the time he does, the man in the tan jacket is already gone. "Did you see something?" he asks.

"I… thought I did…" Cecil mutters, still unsure. He shakes his head, trying to clear the odd haze that seems to have clouded it. "You were… saying something?"

"I… yeah, I probably was," Carlos replies. "But I can't remember what it could be…"

"This place is weird even by Night Vale's standards," Cecil says. "The sooner we're out of it, the better."

"Seconded," Carlos agrees. "Which is why I still think… and I'm not sure if I was just saying this… but I still think we'll find the answer if we just explore a little."

"Carefully," Cecil adds.

"Oh yeah. Definitely."

'Weird' doesn't really do justice to where they are. At initial glance, it looks a lot like what it purports to be – a park, with trees, grass, paved paths and even the occasional pond. But it's clearly much bigger than it seems on the outside, and what's more… it appears different when you're not looking directly at it. Out of the corner of his eye, Cecil is sure he glimpses _other_ things: a black, twisted landscape; flickers of fire like a will-o-the-wisp, and sometimes, in the sky… a dark planet of awesome size, lit by no sun.

Eventually, they come upon a monolith; about ten feet high, made of the same black obsidian as the Dog Park's massive walls. It stands in the middle of a grove of those metal trees, surrounded by a ring of deep purple foxgloves.

And it hums… like a thousand voices in unison, low and echoing.

"Oh… can you hear that?" Cecil asks.

"Yeah… that is seriously odd, and oh… it makes my head feel so… heavy…"

Carlos drops down onto one knee and Cecil looks at him in alarm. "Are you OK?" he asks.

"Yeah… just so… oh, that feels…"

He falls further forward, hands on the soft grass, and Cecil drops down beside him, looping an arm over his chest and holding on, stopping him from collapsing entirely. "Carlos?" he says, urgently.

"Feel… so…" Carlos blinks at him, then stares up at the sky. "Oh… look at that…"

Cecil looks up, but all he can see is the sky… and that might not be a good sign. "Carlos, focus on my voice," he says. "Focus on here and now."

"I… trying, but… _look_ …"

"Carlos!"

The hum of the monolith seems to be getting stronger, as if it knows it's ensnared someone. As if it's… excited by its success. Hit by a fresh wave of urgency, Cecil tries to drag Carlos to his feet, holding him up, struggling to pull him back from the monolith that the other man now can't take his eyes off.

"Oh… Cecil… just let me touch it…" Carlos murmurs.

"No," Cecil tells him. "Trust me, humming obsidian monoliths are never something you want to touch."

"Just a little…"

"No!"

Struck by desperation, by a need to find some way to snap Carlos back to reality, Cecil does the only thing he can think of – which is to grab the man's face in both hands and kiss him as hard as possible.

As he pulls back – still holding on – Carlos blinks at him. "…Was… I..? Did I just..?"

"Focus on me," Cecil tells him. "Not the monolith. _Not the monolith_. Are you all right now?"

"Uh… yes… I think so, I… wow, that was strange…"

Relieved, Cecil still doesn't let go, staying between Carlos and the humming monolith.

"Why didn't it affect you? Don't tell me you're immune to monoliths as well?"

Cecil grins sheepishly. "It's never been scientifically proven," he says. "I mean… there's so much variety that it's hard to tell. But I may have been the only person who could see the Shape in Mission Grove Park that no one acknowledged or spoke about, so… I guess there must be something in that."

"…I guess so," Carlos manages. And then, "…We should maybe get away from that thing, right?"

"As a matter of urgency," Cecil agrees.

They hurry on out of the grove, away from the monolith; its soft but ominous hum slowly fading into the background. But, as it does, there's a new sound in the distance, drawing rapidly closer: the beat of running footsteps and what seems to be several unsuccessful shots with a portal gun.

And all of a sudden, a woman in an orange jumpsuit crashes through the trees up ahead, stopping abruptly when she sees them.

"Chell?" Cecil exclaims, relieved to see she's all right.

"Cecil?" Chell says, surprised. "Carlos? I thought I'd never find you. We should run… there's a clearing back that way that's full of hooded figures and you do _not_ want to know what they were wearing on their heads…"

Opting not to argue, Cecil and Carlos follow Chell further in the direction she was running, finally stopping beside a small, perfectly round pond.

"Where the heck are we?" she exclaims, catching her breath – and from the look in his eyes, it's clear that Carlos can still, inexplicably, hear her.

"Back in Night Vale," Cecil answers. "Inside… the forbidden Dog Park."

"The what?"

"The forbidden Dog Park," Cecil repeats.

"…The _what_?" Chell tries again.

"…Best not to ask," Carlos tells her. "Some questions just shouldn't be answered, even when you're a scientist. For the sake of your sanity."

"I… OK," Chell manages. "So… what now?"

"How did you even get here?" Carlos asks.

"When those guys from Strex chased you out of the sphere, I followed them," Chell says. "By the time I got out, you'd vanished, but there was a seriously _weird_ indigo portal glowing on the wall and I figured you must have gone through it. I got around the Strex guys using my own portal gun, and followed you. I remember running through the indigo portal and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in this place, halfway up a metal tree."

"What about the Strex men?" asks Cecil.

Chell shakes her head. "I don't know. They were following me as I ran, but I don't know if they went through the indigo portal or not."

"Of course they did," comes an unwelcome voice from the undergrowth.

And two figures emerge from the bushes on the far side of the pond; two men in black suits with painfully yellow ties.

Chell rolls her eyes. "Oh, for the love of… You again!"

"Yes," says the tall man, triumphantly. "Us again."

"I'm pleased we found you so quickly," says the short man. "You've caused us a lot of trouble. And you messed up our plan to get that star."

"Yes," says the tall man, again. "But you also proved that this town is strong enough to withstand the impact of paradoxes. So all we have to do is go back further and acquire the star even earlier."

"We survived one paradox," Carlos says, "but there's nothing to say a second won't destroy all of existence! For the love of Einstein, please… accept you failed and move on!"

The eyes of both Strex men narrow in unison. "Strex Corp does not fail," the tall man says.

"Strex Corp succeeds in all of its endeavours," the short man adds.

"Strex Corp is _everything_ ," they say, in unison.

"OK, seriously, guys, that's creepy," Chell points out.

"Suffice it to say, we have… re-evaluated our current strategy," the tall man goes on, speaking alone again. "We have come to the conclusion that we no longer need you. We have the physical and temporal location of the star, and we are not currently at risk from the Aperture AI. As a result…"

Both Strex men draw their guns. Cecil steps immediately in front of Carlos – and is surprised when Chell then steps in front of _both_ of them.

"Don't even think about it," she says, fiercely. But oddly, as she does, she's tapping at the edge of the portal gun she's still holding, the rhythm strangely…

Oh. _Oh_.

It's Morse Code. Three words, again and again: _cross the streams_.

Above them, the sky starts to cloud over… but the light doesn’t fade.

"Strex Corp no longer has need of you," the short man re-iterates. "This, as they say, is the end of the line…"

But before he can say anything else – or, more crucially, _do_ anything unpleasant – there's a crack and a thud, and something falls from the sky, landing right in the centre of the round pond, splashing water everywhere. They all turn to see what it is… and find themselves staring, inexplicably, at a dead armadillo.

"By the Management Board, what _is_ going on?" the tall man exclaims.

Above them, the sky clouds over more… but the light seems to be getting _brighter_ , and more colourful, and then…

"ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD," the tall man declares, voice suddenly level yet oddly sonorous, eyes now staring straight ahead, unblinking.

"ALL SHALL FALL BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE ALL-DESTRUCTIVE, ALL-POSSESSIVE CLOUD," the short man says, his voice taking on the same tone.

"STREX CORP IS NOT PERMITTED IN THE DOG PARK," both men say in unison. "STREX CORP EMPLOYEES MUST REMAIN AT LEAST FIVE HUNDRED FEET OUTSIDE THE DOG PARK AT ALL TIMES. THE GLOW CLOUD DOES NOT PERMIT VIOLATIONS TO MUNICIPAL REGULATIONS. THE GLOW CLOUD IS MERCILESS AND WITHOUT END. ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD."

"…That isn't good, is it?" Chell whispers, glancing over her shoulder at Cecil and Carlos.

"…Actually, it may be better than you think," Cecil replies.

"CITIZENS OF NIGHT VALE AND THEREBY MINIONS OF THE MIGHTY CLOUD MUST TAKE ACTION TO PROTECT MUNICIPAL PROPERTY," the two men continue. "AND RAPIDLY. MUST IT BE SPELLED OUT FOR YOU, TINY FINITE THINGS?"

Cecil glances at Carlos – and from the look in his boyfriend's beautiful eyes, he's understood both Chell's Morse Code, and the rather unsubtle nudge from the Glow Cloud. Of course he has. He's so smart.

"Now!" Carlos says.

Three electric whines cut the air, as Cecil and Carlos both fire their portal emitters and Chell fires her portal gun. The three bolts of light – orange, magenta and purple – collide right in front of the two Strex men and erupt into a swirling indigo vortex. There's a backdraft of light and energy and – this time – a fierce gravitational pull, which yanks both of the Strex men in before they have a chance to react.

"I don't think we want to go in that!" Carlos shouts, over the roar of the vortex, holding on to the nearest tree to stop himself being pulled in – and holding onto Cecil with his other hand.

"I don't think we have a choice!" Cecil replies. "Besides… it might be our way out of the Dog Park!"

"Anything's better than here!" Chell adds, and lets go of the tree she's been holding onto, allowing the vortex to suck her in.

Cecil looks up at Carlos. "If this goes wrong…" he tries to say.

"I know," Carlos replies. "I love you, too."

They let go of the tree and fall sideways… into the vortex.

***

Cecil blinks his eyes open, and finds himself staring up at the star-studded void. The sky overhead is consumed by the dark of night, lit only by the twinkling pinpricks scattered across it; tiny flickers of reality amidst the ceaseless black.

He sits upright, finding Carlos at his side. "…Where are we..?" the other man manages, pushing himself off the dusty desert ground. " _When_ are we?"

"Oh… Carlos, look…"

Cecil points off to the side, through the darkness. A little way away, silent and still, is his car – and beyond it, a lone metal shack with a blinking red light above its door.

"Did we do it?" Cecil asks. "Are we back?"

"We may be…" Carlos replies, cautiously. "But we don't know precisely when…–"

"The end of the line," a cold voice cuts in.

They pull themselves to their feet, turning to see the two Strex operatives advancing on them. Both of the black-suited, yellow-tied men look rather worse for wear – dishevelled and covered in sand – and they glower in alarming unison as they once more draw their guns.

"Do you have any idea the trouble you've caused us?" the tall man demands.

"You interrupted our operation," says the short man.

"Intercepted our source."

"Disrupted our temporal ritual."

"Created a paradox that has had a significant warping effect on reality."

"Transported us to a partially-impossible pocket of existence."

"Set a nigh-omnipotent Glow Cloud on us."

" _Time travelled without the correct chanting_." This in particular seems to vex them, though Cecil is sure that their latest time jump must be something to do with the Dog Park, and likely therefore entails even more black magic than the Strex men used in the first place. But it's best not to question it, especially whilst at gunpoint in the desert.

"And?" says Carlos, fiercely. "You invaded _our_ town."

Cecil can't help a smile at this. _Our_ town.

"Yes," says the short man. "We did. Strex Corp goes where it pleases. Strex Corp is everywhere. Strex Corp is _everything_ , and… what's that?!"

A dark shape emerges out of the desert blackness, racing towards them at some speed.

It's the doe. And from the way the starlight flashes in its eyes, it looks _angry_.

"Deer!" the tall man shrieks, horrified. "Run!"

And – inexplicably – they do; both tearing off across the desert, pursued by the determined and seemingly furious doe. Cecil and Carlos stand watching in surprise, neither one quite able to take their eyes off what's going on.

"…They're scared of _deer_?" Cecil manages, after a moment, as the tall man tries to trip his short colleague in an attempt to draw the doe off him and save himself.

"So it seems," Carlos replies. "That's… that's just not normal. Even for here."

"Weirdly appropriate, though," Cecil adds. "Given that all this started because GLaDOS _likes_ deer, and… oh. Wait. Where's Chell?"

They've both been so distracted by the renewed mortal peril – and subsequent deer-incursion – that they've failed to notice Chell is nowhere to be seen.

"…Huh," Carlos murmurs. "That's odd…"

" _What_ are you doing to that _poor_ , defenceless deer?" comes GLaDOS' voice, ringing sonorous and smooth across the desert; as sourceless as it seems down in Aperture yet a thousandfold stranger, due to the void – rather than ceiling – overhead. "I have really had enough of you…"

A pair of black metal towers erupt from the desert, something on each angling and swinging in the direction of the two men from Strex – and, without preamble, there come two vibrant pulses of red light, as both towers each fire a laser at the men. And in an instant, the two men explode in a soundless burst of red and yellow, dissipating into a wave of sand that cascades to the ground, mixing with the desert.

"…You couldn't have done that from the very beginning?!" Carlos exclaims, when the initial shock has worn off.

"Where would be the science in that?" GLaDOS replies, levelly. "Besides, I had… inside information…"

And the ground suddenly starts to descend, becoming a square platform that lowers Cecil and Carlos down into the room below – a round, pale-panelled chamber that they've seen before, with a familiar construct hanging from the ceiling. GLaDOS. Her yellow eye watches them as the panel clunks to a halt, regarding them with unblinking, slightly suspicious attention.

But she's not alone. Standing just below GLaDOS, portal gun still in hand, is Chell.

"That worked better than expected," she says.

"What happened?" Carlos asks. "How did you get down here so fast?"

"I had something of an advantage," Chell tells them. "I appeared through the vortex much sooner than you or the Strex men, but I don't know why."

"It's because _they_ broke _science_ again," GLaDOS interjects accusingly.

"…Quite possibly," Chell concedes. "Anyway. I appeared in the late afternoon and realised something wasn't right, so I came down here and… told GLaDOS everything."

"…Everything?" Carlos repeats. "So… so all the time we were down here… you _knew_ what was going to happen?"

"I did," says GLaDOS, with a smug little tilt of her robotic head.

Cecil stares. "But… you were surprised to see us! And wouldn't let us in! And… you didn't even know Chell could talk!"

"All an act," GLaDOS replies. "And I had _this_ Chell with me the whole time, telling me what was going to happen in advance so I could react to it. How do you think I managed to clear a route to the sphere chamber so quickly? I had hours to prepare. That was how I knew where to open up the entrance for you in the first place. Did you think just _randomly_ releasing a deer in the desert would somehow get my attention? That's pretty ridiculous, really. Thankfully, I knew precisely when and where to watch out for you, so when you turned up with that poor creature, I was ready."

"…Wait," Carlos says. "You only knew to open up the door in the first place because _this_ Chell told you about it?"

"Yes," GLaDOS answers. "I wouldn't have noticed otherwise. Ever since you two first broke in, I've been studiously _avoiding_ the surface so as not to accidentally entice you – or any more of your ilk – back in again."

Carlos stares some more. "But… that means this is another paradox! You only knew to let us in because of what happened _when you let us in_!"

"Indeed," says GLaDOS, dryly. "Two paradoxes in one day. You're lucky all of reality hasn't utterly inverted."

All Carlos can do now is stare. Cecil puts a hand on his shoulder. "But it didn't invert," he says. "We're still here. So… that's good, right?"

"So it would seem," GLaDOS replies.

"And we got rid of those awful Strex men at last," Chell adds.

"Yes," says GLaDOS. "With deadly lasers."

"You do seem very fond of those," Chell remarks, glancing up at her.

GLaDOS gives a little robotic shrug. "You know me."

"Yeah, I kinda do," Chell answers.

"So… what happens now?" Cecil asks, carefully. "You're not going to try to kill us again, are you?"

"Well, I did consider it," GLaDOS admits. "You have been _immensely_ irritating twice over, after all. But given the amount of warped temporal energy caused by you _carelessly_ creating not one but _two_ paradoxes, and given that you seem to be armed with some kind of bootleg and _wholly_ unauthorised portal devices that interact _very_ bizarrely around said paradoxes… I think maybe it's best we just call it quits. For old time's sake, if you'll pardon the pun."

"That's… very generous of you," Cecil says, relieved.

"Let me re-iterate, though," GLaDOS adds, "that if you try to come back _again_ and I _don't_ have someone from the future to convince me to keep you alive, I will deadly-laser both your asses into dust and then drop whatever lingering molecules remain into a pit of fire. Clear?"

"Very," Carlos manages. He still seems to be in some kind of shock over the paradox-thing, and Cecil suspects it will be a while before he fully snaps out of it.

"Good." GLaDOS turns a little, now looking down at Chell. "And what about you? I suppose you're going to run off again…" She sounds almost – almost – sad about this, in the weirdest way.

"I did think about it," Chell answers. "But… I thought maybe I might stay down here. For a while. I… forgot how much I miss the place, and… you know…"

There's an unspoken 'you' hovering just unsaid on the edge of this, and Cecil can't help a little smile as he realises. GLaDOS once told him they had a lot in common, and apparently that includes them both having someone they couldn't take their eyes off, even if they wanted to.

Which, it seems, neither of them do.

"You… want to stay?" GLaDOS manages, with a surprise in her voice that Cecil has never heard there before.

"Yeah. At least for a little while."

"…Even if I try to kill you again?"

"I realise that's an operational risk," Chell says, with a flicker of a smile. "Besides… you never quite seem able to. And I thought, instead, maybe we could… do some science…"

GLaDOS looks at Chell, then at Cecil and Carlos. "You should go now," she says.

Cecil grins. "I figured," he replies.

"Thanks for helping me save the facility," Chell says to them.

"You're welcome," Cecil tells her. "Thanks for helping us save Night Vale."

"Yes, yes, we're all very thankful," GLaDOS says, starting to raise the platform again. "Now, out, before I change my mind."

The panel rises quickly, lifting them up and out of the room. Chell gives them a little smile and a wave just before she slips out of sight. And in a moment they're back on the surface, the panel locking seamlessly into place, casting them into the darkness of night once more.

"…That was… surreal," Carlos manages.

"Tell me about it," Cecil replies. "But you've got to admit, they make a cute couple."

"…I'm never going to get my head around how this place works."

They set off back over to the car, which stands alone in the otherwise featureless desert – the second metal shack having vanished as inexplicably as the first. Standing beside the car, watching them expectantly, is the doe.

"We should probably take her back to the zoo, now," Cecil points out.

"Yeah," Carlos agrees.

They corral the oddly-compliant deer into the back of Cecil's car once more, and set off driving towards the distant lights of Night Vale.

"One thing still puzzles me," Cecil says, turning back onto Route 800. "If the men from Strex had somehow managed to take the star… what would they have done with it?"

"Nefarious Strex business," Carlos guesses. "Beyond that… I'm not sure I want to know. But that isn't the one thing that should puzzle you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. The one thing that should puzzle you is: how did Chell know to come to us in the first place?"

"…Oh. That's… that's a good point," Cecil replies. "It does seem a little… convenient."

"Exactly," Carlos says. "She knew exactly who to come to, to warn about something that only we were equipped to help with."

"That… is odd. You think… there were more than two paradoxes today?"

Carlos reaches to grip his shoulder. "Cecil… I don't even want to know how many paradoxes there were today. And that's another sentence I didn't expect to need. Ever."

"On the plus side, space-time seems more robust than you first thought."

"There is that."

They drive on through the dark, the lights of the town gradually drawing closer.

"Well," Carlos says, after a few moments, "after we get this deer back to the zoo, I vote we go back to my place, and you can tell me all about how you plan to relate this particular series of events on your show tomorrow…"

Cecil grins. "Gladly," he agrees. "Although… what deer?"

Carlos turns, looking in the back seat… but it's empty. As it has always been.

"…Wait, _what_?!" he exclaims. "But… the deer! There was a deer! We used it to get GLaDOS' attention!"

"Carlos… how would we even get a _deer_ in the back of this car?"

Carlos just stares at him. He tries to speak, then takes several deep breaths and tries again. And then – still silent – he buries his head in his hands.

"…Just… take me home?" he manages, finally.

Cecil puts a hand on his shoulder. "Gladly," he says, again.

And out in the desert, the doe smiles to herself, then turns… disappearing back into the night.


End file.
